Stop settling and start getting

Hi Alura,

2017 has been a really bad year for me. My boyfriend and I broke up back in April though we seem to on again/off again for most of the rest of the year. Can you tell me when he will commit and how to make 2018 a better year for love?

                                                              Thank you,

                                                              Tammy S.


Dear Tammy,

The first piece of advice that I can give you is to stope saying that 2017 was so horrible for you. When we make statements, or have thoughts that are negative, we are putting out that vibration and will attract more negativity…. think like attracts like. Though, you may want for a better time in 2018, look deeper at this past year and look for something that could be viewed as positive or perhaps as growing spurts. Change and transition is hardly ever comfortable, and it is human nature to try and keep things the same. Unfortunately, or better yet, fortunately, we are here to learn lessons and grow. What in the past year has helped you to grow? To view things differently? To want more? To appreciate less? Look for the gratitude moments and try to focus on those. Remembering again that like attracts like and appreciation and gratitude will bring more things into your life to appreciate and be thankful for. Make sense?


Now, in regards to your boyfriend….I pulled the seven of swords….let me put it to you this way…why should he make a commitment when he can have his cake and eat it too?  Once I had a relationship that was making me lonelier with the person, then without. True indication that it was time to let go. I would ask yourself, why are you settling for less, when you want more? Look at patterns that keep repeating for you in relationships and break away from that by handling this time in a different manner, think outside of your comfort zone. Overall message from the card is that he will never commit. If you stay with this relationship, 2018 will have some of the same issues, dramas and hurts. Take control and make it a better year. Stop Settling! My suggestion to you is to take out a piece of paper and without thinking of anyone, write what you are looking for in a relationship. Leave out types like blonde, blue eyes…and replace with “that he shows me his unconditional love in affectionate ways, he has a good job, etc” Look at the list and fold three times and then three times again. Place this under your mattress until your love comes.

                                                                         Hope that helps,


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